


MEMORIES

by eecinn



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eecinn/pseuds/eecinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Actually I'm not gonna make a summary cause I don't want to give you a hint so just learn it with reading.  I'm not a fanfic lover but I read fanfics here about those two cause I truly love their thing (call it whatever you want). So one day I thought I'm sure the writers also like to read fanfics about them also and as a reader it's my duty to pay this debt with a story.<br/>And it happened to be a long and weird one though I really like it so I'm posting it.<br/>By the way as an unnative speaker I hope I wasn't being a grammer nazi and explained my story understandably.<br/>And I hope you'll enjoy it.<br/>(It's a little complicated so be careful while you read it.)</p><p> </p><p>And where the hell is that disclaim section?<br/>Cause I want to say;</p><p>"Why are you pushing me to say that I'm a huge fan of manga owned by a GORILLA called Hideaki Soraichi and this is only a fanfic about two characters of that which I like their way of unnamed relationship story?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	MEMORIES

Okita Sougo had never knew why he hated cold this much. From first the time he remember himself, cold weather -especially snow- made him feel complicated things. And generally depressing feelings that he can't name. So the frusration caused by this uncertainity made him feel hatred.  
Though he'd never paid attention on it really much...  
Till he was 18.  
Actually till he met with that person when he was 18.

 

He was walking only God knows how many hours... Or days maybe.  
And the burden he was carrying wasn't a burden actually. It was like something a part of his body already. So during all of the walking he didn't feel tired.  
He wasn't feeling anything actually.  
Not anymore.  
It was already a really cold winter. And his mount climbing taking him only to the colder places. Which was his aim. He was trying to reach to the coldest place he could go. Though he didn't know whether he's doing this or not since he can't feel anything incluiding the temperature.. He was just watching like he had hypnotized to some goal. A certain goal. And...  
There is no and... That's it. Just it.  
He wasn't aware of -and care by the way- the fact that he is walking in a dangerous place in a dangerous time of day. It was already night and if one doesn't count the little light of moon and the stars, he was in a pitch black nothingness. If he couldn't hear his own slow steps and heavy and loud breaths, it was a real nothingness. And he kept going on like this...  
Till he fell on his knees.  
It was nothing though for him. Since he didn't jolt the precious thing between his arms it wasn't important his fell for the -what- hundreth time or so. So he straighten up again like he did at the other times.  
And he fell again.  
It was pretty common for the last hours for him. I mean him couldn't be able to stand up at first time of his attempt of straightening.  
So without even caring his second fell, again tried to stand up.  
And fell again on his knees.  
And this time he started to slog on being on his knees. It was hard to keep his balance even in that position.  
-So, it's time for me to stop, ha?  
He asked to the nothingness that surrounds him. With the unanswered response of the land. He propped himself to the closest thing of his nearby which was a rock that, looking like won't be smash or break in a close future.  
After he had located himself fully, he looked his precious burden he was carrying with his allmight. And then run his fingers between the vermillion strands. His gaze softened, his lips snuggled a little.  
-So you are looking like these when you are sleeping.  
Then he lifted his head and looked to the moon.  
-Look. The moon is looking us. You like it.  
And the memory came to the deep back of his store...

......  
-Don't you think the sun is too beautiful.  
He was watching her as she staring to the sun with the mesmerized expression on her. He smiled to her admiring face.  
-It always there and shining for us, smiling to us with a loveful way.  
She had said that cheerfully. Then he couldn't help but moved from the place he is and came to her nearby. Cupped her cheeks and hoist her face. Then kissed her softly with bowing his face. It was a brief but strong kiss. After he pulled away a little he looked straight to her shocked azure eyes with his passionate crimson eyes.  
-If you love it this much I would jealous even the sun.  
She smiled with love.  
-If you feel envy for the sun I would even be crossed with the sun.  
He smiled her bold and sincere statement. And they hugged each other then.  
......

-The thing you loved was the sky actually, right! It's here now right in front you. It's ok, you can admire it as long as you want. Just look it my love. Just do it.  
There wasn't any answer again. He then touched her slim arms. They were so fragile that looked like they will break to pieces if you push a little. Which she hated with her whole heart.

......  
-Why do you try to learn fighting anyway? You are a girl.  
Her cheeks reddened as her face getting a pout expression which he found the cutest thing he saw in his entire life.  
-I don't want to learn fighting. I just want to be strong.  
-Aren't they same. Besides you can't hit anything anyway.  
-No they aren't. And I don't want to hit anything. I just want to be strong...  
She lowered her head and pawed the sand under her feet with her toe tip.  
-...As strong as you.  
That was unexpected really. So he looked at her with confusion.  
-And your reason for that...  
She then lifted her head and look at him with determined eyes.  
-Cause I'm too weak as I am now. I can't even protect my own self. The people of the village don't love me since I am an outsider. So ever since I came here when I was 14 you are protecting me whenever someone bullies me and I don't want you to worry about me and push yourself to protect me everytime anymore. If I be as strong as you, you wouldn't be need to...  
He cut her sentences with his deep kiss.  
-The only thing I push myself for is to extent the length of the time I spent with you. And I'm fine with the consequences.  
-But I'm not. I don't want you to be hated by the others too for you to...  
He kissed her again to silences her.  
-Stop this. I'm serious, she said with a serious expression. Though it was more sulking than seriousness which he loved to stare.  
-I'm fine to be hated by anyone as long as you love me.  
-But I feel guilty for that. And I want to do something too.  
The man looked at the woman he loves for a while and after that gave a loud breath.  
-Okay, he said with backstepping a little. "Let's see, how much you can get stronger... Though I'm more than sure that you can't even get close me in that aspect."  
-I am going to get stronger. And even maybe more than you.  
She callenged his teasing with her full courage.  
-Bring it on, he said and flicked her nose softly with his middle finger;  
-But don't forget the fact that, the only one who has the permission to hit you is me. It is only my privilege.  
......

Then he touch her already frozen lips.  
-If I kiss you again, will it dissolve?  
No answer...  
Again.  
The lips that gave him promises were dead shut now. He closed his eyes.  
-It's cold right. Just like that time.

......  
It was a winter at that time too. Snow had covered everywhere to turn it a cold and white place. He had wanted to play a game to her so write a note on a paper and left in her door.  
"Meet with me in the place where I'll be waiting for you."  
A brief and missing note it was cause the main purpose was made her wonder a little. The place he mentioned in that note was a place of the lake that brightened by the sun. The sunshine was so bright that the lake water was looking like a mirror. Like the water actually a piece of frozen ice. They had found there a year ago and both of them had the same expression on it.  
" Like the time itself stopped here for eternity."  
Yet things didn't happen like he predicted and she had found him in no time. So it had surprised him very much. He hugged her tightly and asked smiling;  
-How did you find me?.  
She bit her lips and showed her hand's little finger.  
-They say, the lovers has a fate thread that links their little fingers. So there is no way for me to lose you.  
Than lifted her head to the sky.  
-So even if one of us goes behind that sky, I'll still find you.  
Then they hugged each other.  
......

He was watching his slow and heavy breath. The cold was turning it in to an almost solid being. Then he saw a shooting star.  
Then a second one.  
And third.  
And...  
-Look it's a sturbust. They say a shooting star gives one, a wish. Then what is it for a starbust? Do I have that many wishes?  
Then lowered his head to look at her. Caressed her face lightly with the back of his hand.  
-Though I don't need more than one wish.  
He lifted his head to look at the sky again and shouted;  
-All of the shooting stars in the heavens! My only wish is her. Just her.  
Yet no reponse again...  
Lowered his head to her face and touched her forehead with his own. Opened hid lips to call her name...

......  
-They say it's weird and unheard. So they don't like it.  
She was sad about the fact so there was a pout on her face. He cupped her cheeks with his hand and kissed her forehead.  
-They are idiots. I do like your name. It's nice. Though I don't know it's mean. What is it?  
He asked curiously. With that small statement had already caused her face get brighten. She smiled and answered.  
-A mystical and magical faraway land.  
......

-Chaina.  
No response.  
-Chaina.  
Just a wind sound.

......  
-You have reached to the age. Let's get married after the war.  
A hopeful promise made by the upcoming tragedy which will fell on them.  
......

-Chaina.  
It was getting harder and harder in every second to say the word as his voice getting lowering. 

....  
-The fire started suddenly. We didn't understand anything and everything has happened in a second. Sorry son.  
He was kneeling on the floor, with her lifeless body between his arm. Without shedding a word, he was hugging her in a deep silence. It was like there were noone, nothing in the world other then those two. They had taken her outside before the fire couldn't burn her, but at that time she was already dead due to the smoke poisoning. So she was just looking like she is in a deep and peaceful sleep.  
He hugged her thigher and then pulled himself a little and looked her. Then kissed her lips gently. They were still soft and warm. The life'd just left them nearly. But it was about to change for ever. The cold weather was going to cool her body as the time passing for the others except her.  
No... except them.  
The time was only flowing with her.  
The life had only existed with her.  
-It's been more than an hour. You have to let her go, said -who knows- someone. He didn't care the voice and what is it saying. He had cut his communication with outside till he saw the hand threatening to reach.  
-Don't touch her, he said as he backing to keep her out of their touching area.  
-Noone can touch her.  
Without moving his eyes staring her, he gave his warning to the others. And he didn't need to do that by the way. Cause the aura he's emmiting was enough to make them tremble from the fear.  
-She needs a grave, you know, someone said with a hesitant voice. And a silence after that. It was like he didn't hear that. Though maybe it was a good thing since that man's fury was a dangerous thing for them since they knew who he was.  
Everyone was knowing him since his birth. After his parents' death when he was only an infant, he had adopted by the army, as a soldier trained by from cradle. It was an idea to bring up strong soldiers with perfect instincts and reflexes.  
And it gave its fruit. Now the man they've rounded was an infamous soldier with his courages stories that almost like it belong to a goddess being.  
Though it didn't work and even his and his allies brave victories was fell on unachieved with the contract made by the uppers since they decided that it was a lose on their side. Winning a fight or all of the fight of a war doesn't the meaning of the victory in the end. So now he had to pay the price of the lose cause he made his job right which was a mistake now with the turn of the events.. All of the others had already killed themselves cause the honourable code says that one must purify his soul's dirt by ending the source of the dirt which is one's life.  
He didn't care the honour thing from the start actually so he wasn't planing to following the code. So for him the things will happen with the second route by him being a war criminal since he had fought with the conquerer party and kill a really high amount of them. So as a heinous war criminal he was a man that must be eliminated at all cost immediately.  
Either way was certain death for him and actually he didn't care death since he had a life which he hadn't care it particularly.  
Till she moved on the village when he was 18. She was the thing made him care the life and cherish it. With time the affection turn into an unresistable love so he forgot the existence of life without her.  
After a long silence, he straigthen himself while holding her in his arms. Without lifting his head or saying anything.  
-Where are you going? The place you should go is the other way, said someone hesitantly.  
He didn't stop.  
-I know where should I go. And it's none of yours business from now on so shut up.  
His name didn't exist from the begining.  
His existence was an unneeded thing after the conclusion of the war.  
And his heart had died now.  
There was being no life for him to live anymore.  
-So I should bury you ha? Under the earth and leave you alone in that cold and scary darkness like your family did years ago.  
Now he was already faraway from the village, so he was free to talk to her.  
-And then what, my love? Kill myself as a beaten soldier? Or let them execute me as a war criminal? Or leave you here and run for my life as an animal with now having no more reason to live?  
With every step everything become lighter for him. Even the pain in his heart and so it could even make him think he could live like that if he had even a little desire to live.  
But he hadn't and the feelings are somethings that unexist for him to feel now.  
-You are scared of being alone besides, how can I leave you? And a soil grave is too uncomfortable for you to rest in peace.  
Were there any grave for her to sleep better than his arms?  
Were there a better death for him to die being with her?  
Were there any place for them to stay better than a frozen eternity?  
....

-Chaina.  
It was like a whisper this last call. Right after that the first snow left the sky to fell. And when it reached to the lovers frozen bodies, it signed their poor love story to eternity.

 

Sougo woke up trembling due to the cold.  
It had happened again. That vogue dream was hunting him since at that time he met with that person and even counting Hijikata corpses to fall asleep wasn't working anymore. Even though he can't remember what he saw everytime he woke, the after feeling was always same. Even a hot summer day, he was waking up with the freezing cold sensation.  
And his heart aching. Which is uncomming for him since he is a sadist to the core.  
And with time it's getting intenser and intenser.  
And... it always happens after the nights he saw that person.  
Though he didn't dwell on it cause he had more important things to do. So stand up from bed and without even making his breakfast went to the place where he know she will be.  
It was raining like the sky was crying for something. "What is it?" he asked to sky since he knew it wasn't for them certainly since they were the fools fought against it as the losers who challanged to the ALLMIGHTY HEAVENS for a mere humanbeing's life.  
And the bridge was there in a serenity like it doesn't care the tragedy had fallen on Edo or the tears of sky for who knows what. And she was right on top of it, like copying it's serenity to fool others.  
But he was knowing her better.

......  
In order to protect Edo, we must abandon it. Even if it makes sense to us logically, it's hard to accept. That means saying goodbye to the ones we've protected all this time and as well as the ones that have supported us all this time.  
......

Sougo leaned his back on the wooden railing of the bridge right near of the silencely staring the lake Kagura.  
-It's because Edo doesn't have the Shinsengumi or the Mimiwarigumi anymore that you're staying here, huh, boss?  
-...  
-Unless you guys protect Edo in our place, we won't be able to leave Edo with a clear conscience, is that it?  
-...  
-You've gotta be kidding me. Whether it's this general or that general, we can't let anyone else die.  
-Are you perhaps saying that we are not enough to protect Edo? Then why not try testing me, yes?  
Sougo looked her as he was puzzled by her. Then in an instance without letting him give a respond she throw him to the lake. And when he realised he's already in the water he stand up and yelled at the girl who is now on the railing with her till now open umbrella was already closed.  
-The hell are you doing?!! I'm still recuperating!  
The smirking Kagura gave her answer to the man far below of her;  
-And why did you come her for? To meekly bid farewell?  
Her smirk got wider...  
-Like hell you would do that. You have something you need to do before you start worring about people, yes?  
And Sougo only looked at her without being able to spare any word.  
God! Just like him, she also knew him better.  
-There will still be danger both here and there, yes? From the looks of you, you will be the ones to drop dead first!  
-...Heh. Yeah, you've got the right idea.  
He stand up firmly.  
-I forgot that before I leave Edo there is something I need to be clear on.  
Their looking each other faces took it's fighting expression. Kagura jumped down with a war hungry smirk as Sougo hold his katana to unsheathe it.  
-WHICH ONE'S STRONGER, YOU OR ME?!!  
With them having a scary yet satisfied smile on their face...  
-WE DON'T NEED ANY DUMB WORDS OF FAREWELL.

After an intense fight between them with Sougo right in front of a highly damaged wall while a few meter away Kagura in lake and both of them barely standing, nothing had ended yet. The female Yato declared the obvious truth with her soft and innocent voice.  
-It seems that both you and I... have a long way to go, yes?  
-Yeah, that's right. The battle with that weirdo crow ended without us being able to touch him.  
Despite their weariness they only smirked each other. And now the words that they share with the depth of each others entity said by one of them loudly.  
And none of them knew or cared which one's mouth or voice was it.  
-BUT REMEMBER THİS, BY THE NEXT TİME WE MEET... Both run towards to the other to attack ...I SWEAR I'M GONNA BE STRONGER THAN YOU OR THAT CROW. SO YOU'D BETTER NOT LOSE TO ANYONE ELSE.

After the end, they were stuck to a wall without being able to stand smiles a serene and satisfied smile.  
Yet none know the already forgotten past or the future.  
With a different set up of time and a different forms they lived their lives this time, their story took a different route from it's original. Still the fact that, the bond and understanding are still there couldn't be able to broken even with all of those changings. Like their frozen past lives these were going all the way to the eternity.

And the red thread of fate which connects them in both lifetimes, and made them find each others despite to the difference of planets, yet said it's last word.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I didn't screw up on the process. Though I'm sure I did in somewhere or somewheres. So please criticise my first and probably last fanfic.


End file.
